Confessions of an impatient momma

It's confession time.

I'm tired of being pregnant and want to not be pregnant anymore but am terrified of not being pregnant anymore.

I'm quite sure that doesn't completely make sense to everyone, but I'll explain.

Here I am.

I'm 39 weeks today. I can't believe I'm still pregnant. I was "sure" that Little Man would have made his debut by now. But as I'm learning, my children have their own timeline and there is absolutely nothing I can do to control it. Cheyanne came at 39w1d with induction. This time I have no induction scheduled yet so its all a waiting game. That alone, I'm not good at- waiting- not my strong suit.

This post is going to be so much to read. Short version: I complain.

I'm fat. I'm sore (all over). I'm being a jerk to my husband despite his efforts to help out around here, or I'm just "moody" as he safely puts it. I'm chasing a wild toddler around all day who has no idea that Mommy is moving at half her normal speed. My legs have started to swell this week. And I'm just so ready to not be pregnant anymore.

That being said, I'm not prepared for life after not being pregnant. I mean, his room is ready, his clothes are folded and put away, our hospital bags are packed. My neighbor friend is on speed dial for go time so Cheyanne has someone familiar to be with while I'm in labor. We know our first call lists will be to the grandparents so they can start making their way down here to take over Chey during our hospital stay. The dog, well, the dog will have to deal with whoever is in the house at the time to feed her and let her out. Logistically I'm ready.

Mentally I'm most definitely not. There will be two kids in this house in a few days, forever. That is something I've always wanted, but now reality is starting to set in and I'm getting nervous. For 2 1/2 years, my one and only concern and responsibility every day has been Cheyanne. From the time I wake up to the time I go to bed, she is my main concern. In a few days, I have to share that with another little one. More importantly, Cheyanne will have to share me, something that she has never had to do. I'm terrified. I know I know I know that things will work out and life will be fantastic and I will love this little guy more than I could ever have imagined, but I'm still scared. I have no doubt that love will take over, no doubt at all. I think the changes that will happen around here are the scary part of this.

I have never spent a single night away from her since the day she was born. I can count on one hand the number of times that someone other than me has put her to bed in 2 1/2 years. And in just a few days, I'll be away from her for the first time. All day and all night. AH. I'm not prepared. The Giant and I have already agreed that he will come home at night to sleep with her while I am in the hospital which makes me feel a lot better about the situation, but that's still not me putting her to bed. I know it won't be easy for either of them, I'm just praying that it is easier than my mind is letting me imagine. I am so thankful for God's timing right now though and recently turning Chey into a daddy's girl, something I never thought I'd see.

I have so many fears running through my head. Two kids, at one time, how do people do it? I already am not sleeping well, like averaging about 4 hours a night I'd say. I hope this little boy is a sleeper. Between getting up 3-4 times a night to pee, rolling over a bazillion times to relieve my hips and back, and then the fantastic nightmares that seem to be recurring, sleep is a luxury right now. Bad dreams must have been in the air last night because Chey woke up at 4am yelling for me telling me she had a "bad dream!" and then when I finally got back to sleep after settling down it was my turn and dreamed she flushed herself down the toilet and I could hear her singing Jingle Bells the whole time- random and HORRIBLE!!! Needless to say, I didn't sleep much after that- and I made sure the toilet lids were closed. Cheyanne never has been so the idea of having 2 non-sleepers is beyond exhausting. And then there is the fact that I'll be on my own for quite a while shortly after he's born. That doesn't help stop my mind from completely exploding at 3am from stress. Hey Moms, how does it work? How do you share yourself between 2 and still stay sane and not let one suffer while the other gets attention? I'm so stressed out about Cheyanne will handle her baby brother being here. She is such a wonderful girl but she is demanding and requires a lot of extra momma attention. I don't want to make her sacrifice even more than she already does. I have major guilt today. She goes so much without her Daddy. I feel horrible with the idea of her going without her Momma too! How is that going to work?!

I blame being very pregnant and apparently sleep deprived for my severe complaining mood. I'm sure this post is about as much fun to read as it is to write. Sorry. Today, my plan was to go on a long walk but after waking up with some beautiful kankles, my new plan is to keep my feet up a few hours this morning while the Giant takes Chey to the playground. My list of things to do today is just going to have to wait a few hours. I'll get that laundry done and that walk in later. Not that the walk is going to help induce labor since I've decided I'm just going to be pregnant forever at this point.

For.e.ver.

29 Weeks

I'll be 29 weeks tomorrow. I guess its time I give a real update again on this kiddo in the oven.

This picture is for you Whitney. And the beautifully planned scenery is for everyone else that would like to see my very untouched half bath. We'll get to redoing it eventually.

Woah, check out that bump. Cheyanne sure looks bothered, doesn't she?

How far along?: 29 weeks
How big is baby?: He is supposedly just under 15 inches all curled up, except at night when he decides to stretch himself out. Then he feels like he's more like 6 feet tall. He weighs roughly 2.5 pounds.
Weight Gain?: I dread this question so much. Why is this always one of the first questions people ask when discussing pregnancy?! Ok, truth time. I've gained 9-10 pounds so far. I think it has evenly split between my belly and backside. Next.
Stretch Marks?: Thank heavens, no.
Maternity Clothes?: Oh yeah. All pants are maternity at this point. Tops are still fitting just fine minus the shorter ones. I pretty much live in my long Gap tshirts.
Sleep?: Right now sleep is pretty good, once I can get to sleep. That has nothing to do with pregnancy but more to do with I don't sleep well when Giant is away.
Best moment this week?: During our nighttime prayers and our normal "God bless" lists, we prayed for baby brother. I paused and asked Cheyanne (which I do every now and then recently) where is her Baby Brother. "Belly!" and proceeded to point to her belly then to mine. I laughed and so she pulled up my shirt to "see." I love how much she is growing, mentally and physically, this girl is amazing.
Food Cravings?: Most anything that doesn't require me to cook it for long. Sure wish I had a chocolate chip cookie right now.
Gender?: "He" better still be a boy.
Movement?: At all points of the day, I can see my belly jumping and jiving. Its my favorite part of pregnancy.
What I miss?: Wine. Still wine. 
Belly Button?: Still in there with my pretty bling. Its closing in every day though. Push that sucker in.
Labor Signs?: No. Braxton hicks- is it too early for that?
What I'm looking forward to?: Finally picking a name for this sweet boy. I am not a "baby boy" kind of person. I want him to have a name sooner than later, although I think we've agreed not to share it until he's here. Sorry for busting anyone's bubble about that. Oh, also, I'm really really looking forward to my physical therapy starting next week. Apparently pregnancy with me means hip and sciatic nerve pain for the last few months of pregness. I'm hoping therapy works this time. 
Milestone?: Definitely the highlight of my week was seeing him at the ultrasound. I guess that is the last time I'll see him until he's here unless we do a 3D-4D sess like we did Cheyanne. I don't think they do ultrasounds  later on.

So that's that. 29 weeks down. 11 more to go until the big due date. I finally went back and compared myself to my previous pregnancy. Check this out. I thought I had preggo squirrel checks now. Look at me then! Ah. I didn't do a 29 week survey update apparently then but I did a 28 and a 30. Interesting to compare where I was and where I'm at now. I'm so glad that I have kept this blog up for the last two years. I love having a comparison. If you're pregnant, do it. Its worth it!

22 week baby update

If you have been following me since 2010 when I was pregnant with Cheyanne, you'll remember that I kept up with my pregnancy via these weekly quick questions. This time 2 1/2 years ago, this was me. 

Seeing as I'm already half way through this pregnancy, I figure maybe its finally time to kick it into gear and start keeping record so I can remember the fun details. So here it goes.

My 22 week picture. The belly has grown big time (and the hair is in desperate need of a trim. I'm not even sure what is going on in the back at this point. I blame Hubs for not letting me know before he took this picture immediately before leaving).

I had my September appointment today and things look great. He has a solid, strong heartbeat in the 140s and is perfectly active. 

How far along?: 22.5 weeks
How big is baby?: He is almost a foot long (about the size of a spaghetti squash in comparison to food).
Weight Gain?: Up until 19weeks, I had gained a half a pound total. At 22.5 weeks I've gained 5 pounds total. Yeah- 4.5lbs in 3 weeks. Uhhh… at least I look more pregs than chubs these days.
Stretch Marks?: Nope.
Maternity Clothes?: This week started my first go with any maternity wear. I'm still squeezing most of that prego butt in reg shorts but some days its really pushing it and I've had to give in and pull out the maternity shorts… I should probably start shopping soon if I want to leave the house in things other than gym clothes or pajamas.
Sleep?: I'm doing pretty well with sleep most nights. I usually wake up once during the night feeling like I'm about to pee my pants but can normally get back to sleep quickly. 
Best moment this week?: At today's dr appointment, we were listening to the baby's heart beat and Chey looked a little scared at the loud noise. I immediately told her Mommy was ok and what she was hearing was baby's heartbeat. She repeated "beat baby." The doctor and I laughed and Cheyanne just smiled.
Food Cravings?: None still. Is that weird? 
Gender?: "He" is confirmed.
Movement?: He already has his nights and days messed up. At midnight, he is partying away in there. He's a strong boy that loves to move.
What I miss?: After most days with a toddler on my own- wine. 
Belly Button?: Still there with my pretty bling.
Labor Signs?: No.
What I'm looking forward to?: Everything.
Milestone?: I've started collecting a few baby boy clothes as I come across them at the Airman's Attic. The ones I have now have been washed, folded, and put away. Girl clothes are way cuter… but our boy will still be pretty cute in them.

Boy? or Girl?

I haven't talked much about this pregnancy yet on here. I did the big reveal here then left you high and dry. Sorry about that y'all.

Its true what they say. Your first pregnancy is so exciting and new and overwhelming in everything you think about. The second time around, you're so busy trying to keep up with the first, the overwhelming excitement of the second sometimes ends up taking a back seat. Isn't that horrible? I almost feel bad admitting that. Don't judge.

I still have to remind myself that I'm pregnant with "no, I can't have that glass of wine" or "wait, is that cheese pasteurized?" Its a daily battle despite my growing little baby bean bump.

Tomorrow is the big day that most pregnant couples countdown to from the day they find that a wee one is growing. Tomorrow we have our twenty week appointment to reveal whether baby bean is going to be smothered in pink or blue! I can definitely say that this pregnancy is flying by much faster than I had expected.

So what are you thinking? Team blue or Team pink? The Giant and I have our suspicions but its all in the hands of the beholder.

Cast your votes now! Tell me what you think.

Boy or Girl?!!!

Expansions

You know I'm behind on blogging when the giant offers to clean the kitchen after Chey's bedtime if I'll just update the blog. Oops. Yeah, I'm that behind.

But can I finally tell you the real reason my entire life seems to be behind these days?

If we're facebook friends, you probably have already seen what been going on here in the Wood house recently. With all the Giant's traveling, Cheyanne and I were left alone for a while. You already know about our last minute trip to see my sister in Virginia. We also took a last minute trip a few weeks later back to Virginia, but this time we went home to the mountains instead.

With everything that's been going on this month, I completely missed an exciting post about my new niece Libby. I'll show you pictures of that sweet bundle of cuteness in a different post.

Instead, for now I'll just have to show you another sweet bundle of cuteness.

That's right. That's ours.

This Wood House is expanding. January is going to be an exciting month for sure.

Hopefully now it makes a little more sense as to why I've been so m.i.a. around here. If you've been with me since I started this blog when I announced we were pregnant with Chey, you'll remember that first trimesters do not agree with my body at all. Sick sick sick. Thankfully, this second trimester is much easier than last time. Besides the unusual tiredness, I have felt pretty great overall. I don't think I can blame the tiredness completely on this new baby though. I'd say parenting a wild toddler with an abundance of energy might have something to do with it.

Thanks so much for all your support and continued care for our family despite my severe lack of blogging. We truly appreciate the friendship and look forward to sharing all the joys of our growing family with you.

And I can't close this post without saying a BIG congratulations to my dear friend Kate over at Barefoot Daydreams. She also just announced her first pregnancy which I have been waiting to hear for a looong time. I couldn't be happier for her! I think we're just days apart too. How fun.

Short and sweet

I know this is completely random, but can I just say how glad I am to see a celebrity finally looking like a REAL pregnant woman? Meaning, not someone that is so made up that she looks to perfect to be 9 months pregnant. 

Yes, I'm talking about you too perfect Angelina Jolie. Seriously, do you get swollen anywhere?!!! Sigh...

I remember being very pregnant at work looking at a tabloid magazine and in my preggo hormone mind I thought "I look like a fat blob compared to these women. What the #$@?"  Me with my swollen belly, swollen face, swollen legs and sweating myself silly in the hottest summer I've ever experienced.

I can't believe I'm putting this picture up. But, I was VERY pregnant, VERY tired of being pregnant, and VERY ready to pop! Just being real here...

Finally, there is a real pregnant woman that actually looks pregnant and is absolutely glowing in baby.

Is it just me or does Jessica Simpson not look fantastic 9 months pregnant? I've loved seeing her pregnant pictures in the media recently. 

Now that I just looked through my preggo pictures, am I really ready to go through all of that again?!

Yes!

Just not in the dead of summer!! :)