Encouragement

I had dinner with a group of ladies the other night from our squadron. Most of them I knew while one of them in particular I hadn't had the chance to get to know yet. Meant as a play date/dinner get together for the kids, It actually turned out to be a really nice time between moms.

Like many of the other women, when my husbands away I don't get to socialize very often. Since we don't have a constant babysitter Always in place it is hard sometimes to find relatable adult interaction. I found myself struggling in that department. That is why recently I have tried to really get involved in the squadron. I have become a key spouse which is turning out to be a great thing for me as well as the giant. I'm getting to know other women and make some pretty good friends here. And Cheyanne seems to like it too because we meet more kids for her to play.

Back to the dinner party. After a frazzled day of running errands all around town I was actually hesitant to go. We hadn't sat down in our house since the morning. And we had just returned from Our week at the beach with family the night before. I could've stayed home and unpacked and cleaned the house but I decided that Cheyanne and I needed some extra socialization time. As the small group of us mom sat around and talked, I realized what a special group of women I'm getting to know. In conversation I realized that all of our husbands were away somewhere around the world. Some for just a few months while others for The better part of a year. I try very hard not to complain when the giant is gone. Mostly because complaining gets me nowhere. It's the life we chose and it's the life that I'm proud to lead. However I'd be lying to say that sometimes I secretly envy all those other married women that complain on Facebook of how their husband has to work late one night Or something as simple as describing a family outing. And usually I just don't say much because frankly most people don't understand. But with these women anything goes. The room is open to complain and sympathize and comfort each other. it is open to celebrate and tell stories and encourage each other. I've had people ask me before "isn't it hard without him there?" Im not Sure the response people expect or want from that. Depending on the day I've had, it takes a lot just not to shake them and respond with "duh." Of course it's hard. How could it not be? you never truly get used to being alone and the constant worrying that goes along with it. But my staple good military wife answer is typically "that's our life and were used to it." I just have to say, It is so nice to have women to talk to that understand The true hardships of our life. Women that don't just say "oh she'll get over it" or "im sure its a phase" when I talk about Cheyannes revolving attitude issues and distance that she gives to her daddy when he's away. It's comforting to know that my toddler is not the only child that is angry when daddy is away and refuses to communicate or Skype with him. It is actually a blessing to know that other people have been there and that their children react in similar ways of confusion when daddy comes and goes so much. That in particular is something that has been so heavy on my heart recently. I constantly worry about what shed be like if she had a "normal" family life. how would she be different if she had 9-5 parents? am i doing a good enough job as a "single parent" most of the time. now, i know I'm not a single parent, im blessed with a very loving husband that puts everything else in life before himself. I'm not discrediting his role at all. We both have our very important roles in our family. That's a different conversation. But because of this, it doesn't get discussed much. Few people understand because few people have been there. But at the dinner, as we all sat around sharing our stories of our children and our husbands and how our life is affected by military, It occurred to me how very blessed I am. Not just blessed by my husband and my family but by the people that God has put in my life because of my husband and my family. There have been more than a few days here where I get sad and feel alone and wonder if other people understood what I go through. Everyone is allowed those humdrum days once in a while. But thankfully I have times like the other night which remind me that the sad days are few because the days in between are so worth it. Life isn't easy and it's never going to be. Sure most days would probably be easier if the giant was around but by no means with those days be a breeze. There are days I wish I had six arms, 50 more pounds of muscle, and eight more hours to get things done before bedtime. and sure a lot of that would be easier if I had my partner here to help. But I think one of the greatest lessons that these women have taught me is that life isn't easy and my job is to continue to make it the best I possibly can because it's the only life Cheyanne knows. My house may not always be clean. Much to my chagrin my projects will probably never completely get done. Laundry May go unfolded and the grass may be 2 feet high. Our nursery hasn't even began to look like a nursery and our upstairs bonus room looks more like a construction zone Than a bonus anything because we ran out of time before he left. But, At the end of the day if Cheyanne is happy and safe and semi-clean I feel that I'm doing a pretty good job. As I learned the other night I'm not on my own down here. In one room sat five women in the exact same position that I'm in. With a husband doing his job somewhere else in the world and a crazy child running around as if she hadn't been let out of the house in weeks. I'm not alone, I'm far from it. I love our life and am so thankful for the people God has placed in it.

This isn't the post I intended to write tonight, But it felt like one I needed to write. I appreciate all of you for keeping up with me my family and my blog. I haven't been good recently to keep you updated. And honestly until the giant gets back I'm not sure that I will. I do what I can and I appreciate all the support you give me.