when your stomach doesnt bend. "What?" you ask. Let me explain for all my never-been-preggo friends. When you're pregnant and your belly grows, you're stomach no longer bends like it did. Its like trying to bend with a watermelon in the way, literally. Think about it. It can get very tricky and potentially dangerous (speaking from experience here...). Comical is not an option here, even though my husband might disagree.
So what to do, for instance, getting out of bed for a midnight potty run half asleep in the dark.
Attempt #1: Roll over and just get up.
Result: Fail.
Attempt #2: Push up with hands behind me.
Result: Fail again.
Attempt #3: Try to wake up husband from sleeping coma to help push.
Result: He rolls me the wrong way towards him without waking up. Big fail.
Attempt #4: Roll myself back to my corrected side and grab for anything to hoist myself up including night stand that is too low for any actual support.
Result: Knock over water glass on stand and still cannot get a good grip. Ugh fail.
Attempt#5: Almost give up and seriously start to ponder husbands reaction in the morning if I just peed the bed...
Result: Sigh- never gonna happen. Fail. Next.
Attempt #6: With all the gusto I can muster, I pull a roll and twist with the upper body while simultaneously swing my legs over the edge and do a little kick move for momentum.
Result: SUCCESS! With a big ole grunt when I finally stood upright. I don't know if I've ever been more proud of myself... at least proud of my half-asleep self.
I'm glad you guys love me. Hey- at least I'm honest.
__________________________________
Survey time!!
How far along?: 31 weeks
How big is baby?: She should be in between 2.5-3.5 lbs and measuring between 15-17 inches. She's close to her birth length now.
Weight Gain?: Don't have a clue. My abdomen is definitely bigger though.
Stretch Marks?: Nope.
Maternity Clothes?: Anything stretchy and lose. I heart dresses.
Sleep?: What is good sleep?
Best moment this week?: Getting out of bed!
Food Cravings?: Corn and pineapple! Oh and I found a killer recipe for homemade granola I'm dying to try. Anybody know where I can find a bag of granola?
Pregnancy brain?: Becoming quite obsessed with finishing things aka projects.
Gender?: Team very pink.
Movement?: There's a dance party inside my belly.
What I miss?: Being able to sit, stand, or lay comfortably.
Belly Button?: Omit due to frustration on the subject...
Labor Signs?: Braxton hicks.
What I'm looking forward to?: Getting the final good news on the Giant's leave date.
Milestone?: I have successfully completed my first big present to my baby- her homemade baby blanket!
So what to do, for instance, getting out of bed for a midnight potty run half asleep in the dark.
Attempt #1: Roll over and just get up.
Result: Fail.
Attempt #2: Push up with hands behind me.
Result: Fail again.
Attempt #3: Try to wake up husband from sleeping coma to help push.
Result: He rolls me the wrong way towards him without waking up. Big fail.
Attempt #4: Roll myself back to my corrected side and grab for anything to hoist myself up including night stand that is too low for any actual support.
Result: Knock over water glass on stand and still cannot get a good grip. Ugh fail.
Attempt#5: Almost give up and seriously start to ponder husbands reaction in the morning if I just peed the bed...
Result: Sigh- never gonna happen. Fail. Next.
Attempt #6: With all the gusto I can muster, I pull a roll and twist with the upper body while simultaneously swing my legs over the edge and do a little kick move for momentum.
Result: SUCCESS! With a big ole grunt when I finally stood upright. I don't know if I've ever been more proud of myself... at least proud of my half-asleep self.
I'm glad you guys love me. Hey- at least I'm honest.
__________________________________
Survey time!!
How far along?: 31 weeks
How big is baby?: She should be in between 2.5-3.5 lbs and measuring between 15-17 inches. She's close to her birth length now.
Weight Gain?: Don't have a clue. My abdomen is definitely bigger though.
Stretch Marks?: Nope.
Maternity Clothes?: Anything stretchy and lose. I heart dresses.
Sleep?: What is good sleep?
Best moment this week?: Getting out of bed!
Food Cravings?: Corn and pineapple! Oh and I found a killer recipe for homemade granola I'm dying to try. Anybody know where I can find a bag of granola?
Pregnancy brain?: Becoming quite obsessed with finishing things aka projects.
Gender?: Team very pink.
Movement?: There's a dance party inside my belly.
What I miss?: Being able to sit, stand, or lay comfortably.
Belly Button?: Omit due to frustration on the subject...
Labor Signs?: Braxton hicks.
What I'm looking forward to?: Getting the final good news on the Giant's leave date.
Milestone?: I have successfully completed my first big present to my baby- her homemade baby blanket!
I'll take a better one later. And yeah...this is not a preggo shirt...obviously... but its laundry day
This is only hilarious to me because I deal with this every night multiple times a night. For some reason I am most comfortable in the middle of our king size bed and somehow when the urge suddenly strikes I have to heave-ho myself out of bed. UGH. :)
ReplyDeleteI almost peed myself laughing so hard just now! Boost yourself with pillows and see if that helps. I have been looking on your registry and can't wait for your shower- even though I won't be able to be there (tear), but I can't wait to see pictures of all the stuff!!!! Strange from a never-been-pregger girl like me, i know.
ReplyDeleteFYI: did i tell you that Betty told me it was "so nice to have your sister around and talk about pregnancy/baby stuff... you know... since we've long given up hope..." Thought you would get a kick out of that!
I like the new background to the blog!
ReplyDeleteFunny post-- and you look GREAT! Keep it up Momma.
ReplyDelete